


Troll to Half-troll Talks

by MurielleLibrary



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: Avocado Dad (Trollhunters), Awkwardness, Domestic Avocado, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, It's all Toby's fault, Nana Domzalski is a treasure, The Talk, dealing with body changes, fashion options for wings, non-graphic sexual discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25909696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurielleLibrary/pseuds/MurielleLibrary
Summary: Two phone calls between Jim and Stricklander, set after Trollhunters, before Wizards.The first, a conversation Jim really doesn't want to have, but he has no one else to turn to. The birds and the bees have... changed, along with Jim.The second, a surprise when Jim makes a call. It's all Toby's fault, really.The third, a treat.
Relationships: Barbara Lake/Walter Strickler | Stricklander, Jim Lake Jr. & Walter Strickler | Stricklander, Jim Lake Jr./Claire Nuñez
Comments: 5
Kudos: 141





	1. The Birds and the Bees

A baby is messy. Positively filthy. On one end, they drool, spit up and cover themselves in their meals. On the other, they equally coat themselves with far more vile substances. Clothing changes are not uncommon several times during the course of the day. And with every extra child, the amounts increase exponentially.

Which explains why Stricklander found himself in the basement once again, pulling yet another load from the dryer when his phone began to chime. He balanced the full basket effortlessly on his hip and with a glance at the screen, he answered.

"Jim! How very nice to hear from you."

"Hey Stickler. Uh. Is Mom around?" Jim's voice came, vaguely sullen, over the phone.

"No, emergency diaper run. Just left. Have you tried calling her phone?" He replied, closing the basement door with his foot.

"I… uh. No. Actually I wanted to talk to you…"

"How rare! You are always so clipped when Barbara insists we speak during your weekly calls." Stricklander teased, granting him a snort from the other side of the call. He set the basket on the floor and took a seat on the couch. "So, how may I be of service?"

"Ok, so I reeeeaally need you to not talk to anyone about this. Not Aaarrrgghh, not Tobes, and _definitely not Mom_."

"Positively clandestine of you, Young Atlas." He chuckled, hooking the phone on his shoulder as he began folding onesies. "What ever could warrant such secrecy?"

"Don't make fun of me, ok? It… It's really… _really_ private." Stricklander could practically feel the hesitancy over the phone. "And… I… I can't really talk to anyone else about this."

"Go on."

"Claire… and I… are um. I was… sort of thinking about maybe kinda trying to take things… to the next level? Asacouple…?"

"Oh?" Stricklander stilled, realisation dawning. He couldn't really help the little smile that crept into his voice. "Oooooh?"

"Come on! Don't… don't… you're the only one I can ask! I know… I know you and Mom… ugh… I mean I assume… I don't wanna know… but… she's human and you're… and Claire and me are…"

"Why, Young Atlas! My word! Are you asking me for… sexual advice?" He was a devil, Jim already knew that, so what point was there in hiding it.

"That's it. Nope. I'm hanging up. Goodbye."

"Wait! Wait. I'm sorry. I'm _sorry_. You've sincerely come to me for aid and I am teasing."

"Cuz you're a jerk."

"Because I am a jerk." Stricklander echoed, bowing his head with at least a little remorse, not that Jim could see it. "I can see why you did not wish to discuss this with Galadrigal… he would have no concept… probably find it all incredibly inappropriate… Very well! I assume based on your call, you have not attempted anything… yet?"

"Well… we've… kissed a little… and uh… well it's mostly been kissing and cuddling."

"Ah, young, blossoming love. So innocent. Why, it feels like only yesterday you were forlornly pining through my class..."

"Hey. No more teasing or I'm out."

"My advice then had been in earnest. I… honestly was rooting for you." Stricklander's voice softened. Had it really only been two years since Jim had found the amulet? A time when Jim was just Jim, and he was… play acting as a history teacher while trying to end the world.

Jim had gone quiet on the other end.

"Yes. Um. Well. Let's stop beating around the bush!" Sticklander began, recovering himself. "Before I get too in depth, there is something I unfortunately must ask, just to clarify things, mind, you being uniquely half-troll and all…"

"...Yeah?" Jim drawled skeptically.

"What is the status of your…equipage?"

"My…"

"Anatomically… has there been a change to your..?" Despite his calm approach, Stricklander found himself not quite willing to say it.

"Oh. Oh... Uh. It… doesn't seeeeem that different… just… bigger… and blue... I guess?"

"That's a good start then. Simplifies matters. You see, there is a certain amount of variation in troll anatomy, as you may have observed, and this can naturally extend a certain amount to their genitalia. Some trolls possess hooks or spines that latch on during mating. Like lizards and cats and such…" Stricklander slid into the explanation smoothly, like he was giving a regular afternoon lecture. "You may wish to establish if you have them privately for yourself before you attempt anything… coital."

"For… myself…"

"Shall I explain more… vulgarly?"

"No. Nope. We're good. I understand. Yup…." Jim's words tumbled over each other, then halted. There was a pause and a pained groan before he spoke again. "Oh god. This sucks. This feels almost as bad as when Mom gave me this suuuuuper graphic and awkward as hell talk when I was 12. She used her medical textbooks!!"

"It's going to be alright, Jim." Stricklander soothed. "Your body has merely gone through an… extra set of changes and it is only logical that they would come with some… unforeseen bumps in the road. You are seeking proper understanding of those changes and that's good. Healthy."

"How are you… so chill about this?"

Truthfully, Stricklander was not. Ever since Merlin had transformed Jim into this half-troll form, Walter Strickler had been a certain degree of not chill. But that was not worth discussing now while Jim was trying to deal with the aftermath. What had happened had happened, so Stricklander put on a knowing grin and pretended everything about this was normal.

"Oh I have taught my way through a few sexual education classes during my tenure at Arcadia High. There is nothing different here, aside from a few physiological points. Although…."

"What? WHAT?"

"A troll's sexual urges could be seen as… mildly aggressive in the heat of the moment, to someone not accustomed to such things. And Claire is human, not naturally possessing the biological defenses of a female troll. You should take care not to bite, grasp or _anything else_ too hard until you establish her boundaries and tolerances."

"...a-anything… else…"

"Remember Jim, she is human. With your strength, you could inadvertently break bones. Accidentally pierce an artery." Stricklander could hear a change in Jim's breathing. Faster. He was starting to overthink things as the information sank in. "I'm not trying to scare you, but you have to be aware. You must always remember to be tender, Young Altas."

"You. With Mom. If you ever-" Jim began, his tone darkening.

"I would die before I ever hurt your mother again, Jim."

There was a long pause as Jim huffed angrily into the phone.

"Y-yeah well you better…" he growled.

Stricklander smiled, a little sadly. 

"You know I'm sure that Javier would murder me on the spot if he ever even _knew_ of this conversation. So there is your primary option for assassin candidates."

Jim stifled a laugh. Good.

"Naturally, you would be his next target, however." Stricklander warned playfully.

A companionable silence settled between them. 

"Hey. Strickler? ….thanks."

"I am always at your disposal, should you ever need... That is of course, if you think could possibly survive this awkward tension again."


	2. It's a Logical Fashion Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim calls Stricklander again. A casual mis-swipe turns it into a video call and Jim sees something he was NOT expecting. (It's not as bad as this sounds, I promise.)

Having flesh made of stone had its advantages and disadvantages. 

Advantage? It was very difficult to actually get burned, outside of volcanic temperatures.

Disadvantage? Testing the temperature of baby formula required a thermometer, even if you were in a hurry because making sure half a dozen babies were fed on regular schedules will try the patience of anyone.

So it was no surprise that Stricklander let out a groan as his phone rang, just as he finished warming up the last bottle for this round of feeding. The last child always fussed the most, having had to wait his turn. With barely a glance at the screen, he swiped his hand across.

"Heeeey Strickler." Jim's voice rang out.

"Give me a moment. Someone is hungry and I need my hands." Stricklander requested over the mounting protests of the child balanced on his hip. He didn't wait for a reply, pocketing the phone and taking the bottle.

"Wow, you're really getting into this parenting thing." came a muffled response.

Stricklander positioned his phone on the coffee table, swiped what turned out to be video and took a seat on the couch. His squirming charge calming immediately when nestled into his lap and presented with the all important bottle.

"After decades dealing with moody teenagers, the wants of a baby are... child's play." Stricklander chuckled to himself. He could hear Jim groan.

"Yeah but Mom has been telling me how-HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?" Jim exclaimed, as he caught sight of his former teacher/enemy/mentor and his unexpected attire.

"Language, Young Atlas." Stricklander chided. "I do believe it is unfortunately referred to as a 'virgin killer'. It was Domzalski's idea. To accommodate my wings."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? TOBES?! WHAT THE HELL MAN."

"His grandmother has knit me at least a dozen already." The former changeling continued. "Such a charmingly strange woman."

"BUT WHYYYYY" The look of abject existential horror on Jim's face was one that Stricklander would treasure. Top ten favorite, at least.

"As I said, my wings. It is a perfectly logical alternative to a shirt. And I certainly can't wander around in my knife cloak with all these little hands grabbing at anything shiny." Stricklander cooed, as he took the nearby example and gave a tiny handshake. The baby in his arms giggled appreciatively, before returning to his bottle. "Also, she knits them with baby yarn. Much more comfortable for the little ones and gives them something to latch onto."

"Dude. Have you like, no dignity?"

"It isn't a question of dignity, but accommodation. I spent centuries bowing and scraping to a megalomaniac and his trigger happy son, catering to the needs of a baby are not dissimilar. That, and your mother smiles a little whenever she sees me wearing one." He replied, a small contented smile gracing his own lips at the memory. "That is a victory I will gladly make sacrifices for."

"Eeuagh. Gross." Jim said, pulling a face. A top twenty candidate. Stricklander's smile widened as he settled himself and baby into a comfortable position.

"So tell me, Young Atlas, what did you _actually_ want to talk about?"


	3. Bonus: Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once I thought about it, I had to draw the outfit from the last chapter.
> 
> Also, what is wing anatomy? Two sets of shoulders/pecs? Shove a keel bone in there somewhere? I don't know either.


End file.
